Kiwi On The Loose

I began writing this several weeks ago……………..but I am still gonna post it. Why waste feelings and good thoughts right?

Several weeks ago I began to write………..

When I first arrived back in New Zealand after several lovely weeks in America with Susan during July, the weather was sunny, and I found myself most days commenting on the gorgeousness of it all. And it really was, you got into your car at the end of the day and could have easily done a cat nap in the warm sun right then and there. Bliss. It felt good.
Now I know that rain is a part of the whole winter thing, and it’s kinda like duh! what did you expect, when it does rain……..but  I get tired of the rain and then feel guilty for feeling that because that’s what winter is and the earth needs it anyways, AND it’s really been light rain. Compared to Pakistan anyway.
BUT it gets me down. I don’t think I have SDS, (seasonal disorder syndrome), but then again maybe everyone gets that in winter. I wonder what they call what you get in summer?

Several weeks later…………….(Sept 1st)
I woke this morning to spring. Actually it felt like spring last week, BUT today it really felt like spring. My mind even felt bouncy. It was Sept 1st however, the official beginning of spring I hear on the radio. The freishias are out, the daffodils, and other springy things are emerging from the sleeping earth. It is wonderful. Maybe I am emerging from a long sleep as well.

Last weekend I started spring cleaning my home. That felt really great. I had felt paralysed for many weeks under the weight of the to do list that I carry around in my head all the time. (Can anyone relate to that?) Nothing was really happening that I needed to. Part of me was being kind to myself and realising yes, this is winter and its okay to feel like this when its raining more, the suns out less, and you can’t get outside to mow the lawn, do some gardening. It’s okay. Several times I actually sat down and read a chapter of a book. I was quiet and prayed. I wrote some reflections on what I was feeling and dreaming about. IT FELT GOOD.

After my spring clean, which began in the kitchen, and stretched outside to the lawn, I have felt energised to carry on. Spring is here, inside where I live as well as outside.
That don’t change the issues I face or the person I have to live with every day (myself), but it does seem easier somehow.

I find myself smiling, and the yellow daffodils give me hope.
And the freishias, they smell as beautiful as ever.
I found one growing thru the weeds on the back lawn.

Beauty growing thru the weeds. A message from God for me.

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