Kiwi On The Loose

If you are visiting my blog for the first time you may notice that there are some anomalies. Like why so much about America and then nada. I spent May 2008 - Jan 14th 2009 in America in Denver Colorado. I went there for love and that love continues to this day to be a very powerful and beautiful thing in my life. In fact it is a life defining relationship, and wonderful journey in my life. For me my personal history could be rewritten as BS and AS. Before Susan and After Susan. That does not devalue BS people and experiences in the least as I believe all experiences are preparing us for something, they are growing us, and can be woven into good in our lives. For me that good can in the now, as well as out there ahead, unknown perhaps or that in your heart you see shadows or glimpses of. Getting to see that may be a long way down the road……..and not all pain can resolve into good. Somethings are too painful or sad to ever be seen as good.
Back to the anomaly………
This blog is a hodge podge of thoughts and reflectionz from my time in America and its aftermath back home in New Zealand. I am a mn on a journey, learning and growing lots. I have so many people to thank for that, at times that journey is not all smooth sailing.
YES I am possibly more open than most about whats happening in the murky waters of my life……….and the waters run deep for sure. I am not a masked man, or wanting others to wear masks around me, I love the warmth and humanity of warm, open, trusting relationships, and that kind of intimacy.
And besides,  I believe I have a heavenly father who weaves all these twists and turns into something beautiful……… who uses all these things in my life. I believe I have a Saviour in Jesus The Christ. I love life, being alive and sharing my life with others, walking the road with them……..friends on the road are very very special.I value those friends.Yes she is one of them.

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The year has started, and I am back at school teaching music. I love holidays and this one to be sure seemed to go one and on forever, it was a summer like the ones you had when you were a kid. I did a lot of thinking, (can’t seem to stop that) a lot of soul searching (can’t seem to stop that) and a lot of dreaming, (can’t seem to stop that one either).
Some dreams have to die, for new ones to be born. I carry too many dreams and really sometimes I am so blind to whats happening in the dream, I miss the real picture.
2010 for me is going to be a year of reality. I sense the strong call of the wild in my life, but there is also a yearning for the familiar and the peaceful. That may just be lying in the sun at the beach or chilling on a couch in my home, or the wonderfulness of having a job, being able to pay bills and touch peoples lives, laugh, take a photo, think or dance.
The call of the wild is best experienced before or after the peace of being home, and in a place that is shaped by you and expresses you. I like home, I like the land I walk on, I like who I can become and appreciate where I have been, I like the oceans that surround me.

This year I do want to write more, and write more from a space that is inhabited by the reality of Jesus in my life, not a pathetic churchy puppet like Christ, but the man Christ. I want to live and write how that relationship impacts my dreams, how I live, what I say and think, yes who I am. I want to rediscover Him myself and not live on past experiences of Him , or others experiences. To be wild it will be my journey with Him, and to be sure that is personal but will also echo and be consistent with the journeys and experiences of many.

There’s a lot of lip service out there to God and Jesus, but not a lot of dust on the feet from walking the hard road.
I want to have dusty feet, and a very open heart, with a face turned to the sky often and especially at sunset and sunrise.
I want to walk in the garden while he talks to me, and sit quietly with His words and bathe my soul in that kind of love.
Yes that kind of love.

Here’s a link to my 1st poem for 2010. On The Third Day

In New Zealand today the sun is as hot as ever, it’s Friday and there’s nothing like a Friday after a weeks work. Where ever you are in the world.

If anyone reads this I wish you a really awesome year. I really do.

On the third day he rose
uncertain and unsure about crucifixion
did it always come with love
was blood the colour of a lovers rose
were rifts in heaven always accompanied by pain

on the third day he rose
carried a dull ache all day
that night still hollow
wrapped his arms around a wine red pillow
and slept
unable to dream of her
walking in the garden alone